I miss the ocean so fucking much, miss sea air and seals off Wellfleet and tracking the days by the passages of the ferry. Seeing the water from my window, the neighbor’s flag snapping in the wind, sand in the bottom of my bed. Eating on the porch, the perfect clear light in the mornings. Walking down Kalmus at dusk, picking blackberries and sea roses, all the windsurfers milling around the parking lot with their wetsuits peeled off to the hips. Swimming in the harbor, swimming in the pond, that deep silence underwater. Standing on the beach at 3 am with a gin and tonic looking out at the water and the small light at the end of the jetty, the coast curving to the left, the Kennedy compound glowing silent in the dark.